Fatherhood and Hope

Br. Ricardo Parra, LC

Introduction

For my capstone thesis I want to explore the theme of hope and fatherhood by making a parallelism between the Odyssey by Homer and The Road by Cormac Mcarthy. Seeing how two texts from very different time periods relate to each other in themes and values. And most importantly, seeking to analyse what they can teach us on our own journey where fatherhood and hope are essentials. To start off, both are adventures. This can be seen as an analogy for life itself. For one part, Odysseus sets out on a voyage back home after having fought in the Trojan war. On the other hand, we have a father and a son in an apocalyptic age. They travel towards the south in search of safety.

Odysseus and Telemachus, the man and the son. Two relationships that can teach us a lot about the father-son relationship that we so long to have. In regards to hope, the journey requires it. In many instances we will see how obstacles come in their way. To see how they overcome adversity in order to reach their goal. In this sense, it can be related to the bull of indication of the ordinary jubilee of the year 2025, “Spes non Confundit”, of Pope Francis.

«Setting out on a journey is traditionally associated with our human quest for meaning in life. A pilgrimage on foot is a great aid for rediscovering the value of silence, effort and simplicity of life»[1].

Chapter 1

Hope

Hope is considered to be a theological virtue, meaning a virtue that takes us to God. In our pilgrimage on earth, we will need it. Hope is «the desire and expectation of good things to come, despite our not knowing what the future may bring»[2]. Hope is ultimately a response to our search for happiness. As we were made for love we were also made for happiness. The search for happiness brings meaning to our life. In that sense, it gives a motivation to persevere.

The specific aspect of hope that stands out the most in both novels is the desire for the destination. For this desire to be fulfilled they must embark on a journey. Fortitude, temperance, and prudence will also be required. For hope to exist, there must be a deep sense of purpose. Otherwise, at the sight of trouble they will give in. This why must be stronger than our doubts. Considering our nature, there is only one thing that can do this to us, and that is love. Saint Therese of Avila sees the relationship between hope and love as follows:

«Dream that the more you struggle, the more you prove the love that you bear your God, and the more you will rejoice one day with your Beloved, in a happiness and rapture that can never end»[3]. Our love requires purification. This purification takes place as we go out on a journey and face the different trials that come our way.

Hope in The Odyssey

Odysseus sets out on a voyage back home after having fought in the Trojan war. He is stranded on an island with the nymph Calypso, who seeks to make him her immortal husband. Odysseus as a husband and father, has the motivation to come back home in order to reunite with his wife, Penelope, and son, Telemachus. Odysseus recognizes Calipso as more beautiful but still decides to be faithful.

From Penelope’s side, hope is seen as she takes her time in weaving a burial shroud for Odysseus’s father, Laertes. She dismantles the shroud everynight in order to delay the suitors from marrying her. She does this out of the belief that Odysseus is still out there and he will come back to take care of her and her son. Penelope has suffered immensely. And she will come to know even greater sorrow when she hears about a conspiracy to kill her son. She is even seen as the most sorrowful woman of all Ithaca. After losing everything, husband, estate, and possibly son, only discouragement can follow. But this does not end there. Throughout the epic we see different circumstances where intercession comes from above. The play of the gods is indispensable, for good or for bad. In a moment, a ghost appears to Penelope, and tells her to trust in Athena who has heard her cry. We also have the hawk as a sign for hope. «As he said this, a bird flew past them on the right, a hawk, Apollo’s messenger»[4]. Odysseus is helped by Minerva, which balances out the antagonism of Poseidon who sends all kinds of troubles against him. Being the god of the sea, especially waits for him to be on a ship to send him a storm.

In a moment of discouragement, we see Odysseus acting like a leader to bring his crew up from despair. «Once the men were no longer pulling hard on their tapered oars, the boat stopped moving. I went through the ship, cheering up the crew, standing beside each one and speaking words of reassurance»[5]. Odysseus in different moments makes himself and others more virtuous by reminding them of past hardships. If they have suffered before and have been able to pull through, then they can do the same for this occasion. Memory is an important faculty of our mind. It can be extremely helpful in moments of struggle. Above all it reminds us that we are capable. As Odysseus put it in his speech:

Friends, up to this point, we have not been strangers to misfortune. Surely the bad things now are nothing worse than when the cyclops with his savage force kept us prisoners in his hollow cave. But even there, thanks to my excellence, intelligence, and planning, we escaped. I think someday we’ll be remembering these dangers, too.[6]

This can also be appreciated later on as he calms his own heart, reminding past endurances when watching the suitors. «In the Odyssey, nearly every battle is won by outsmarting the enemy»[7]. As Heitman states, the strength of Odysseus comes from his intellect.

Suffering has been a recurrent experience for Odysseus and his crew. It is remarkable to see characters coming to understand suffering and refusing to give up. For example, at one point in the middle of the storm even wishes that he had died in battle. But he still keeps going. In book ten, Odysseus tells the crew that they must go to Hades.

No doubt you now believe you’re going home, back to your dear native land. But Circe has stated we must take a different route, to Hades’ home and dread Persephone, to meet the shade of Teiresias from Thebes.’ That’s what I said, and it broke their spirit. Sitting down right where they were, they shed tears and tore their hair. But their cries were useless.[8]

When they are in Hades Odysseus gets good news from the spirit of his mother. She tells him of the faithfulness of Penelope and her sorrow. «When I said this, my honoured mother answered me at once: ‘You can be sure she’s waiting in your home, her heart still faithful. But her nights and days all end in sorrow, with her shedding tears»[9]. The effect of a news like this can be huge. A means for perseverance and strength is to have the certainty that his beloved wife is still waiting for him. How much more can he be motivated to finally arrive home?

Adversity continues. Circe, a goddess, warns about the sirens:

Make your crew tie you down in your swift ship. Stand there with hands and feet lashed to the mast. They must attach the rope ends there as well. Then you can hear both Sirens as they sing. You’ll enjoy their songs. If you start to beg your men, or order them to let you go, make sure they lash you there with still more rope.[10]

What stands out the most in this moment is the need for accountability. Circe is clear in her warning. Men simply can’t resist the song of the sirens. For this reason, if he wants to listen to their beautiful singing, he must be tied down by his crew members. What makes it even better is the fact that if/when he begs them to untie him, they must tie him even harder.

Hope in The Road

The road by Cormac McCarthy takes on a journey of survival. The father and the son, unnamed in the book, travel together towards the south in search for a better life. They must constantly be on the lookout. Others might show up and take advantage of them. In their daily struggle for shelter and food, they will have to endure extreme weather and long walks.

Are we the good guys? Can we help him? What are our long term goals? Are three questions that the kid asks his dad on different occasions. These are questions that could go unvalued but that actually have a great depth. From a kid’s point of view he has a need to be good. In his search for identity, he wants to make sure that he is doing the right thing. And this is a question that he asks several times. Doing the right thing has a direct correlation with being a good person. The world in which he has grown up is very different from the world in which his dad grew up. Now he has to see how people live in radical situations. All of this has led him to ask this simple question. In response, the dad affirms him. He also has to tell him that they won’t be like the bad guys who eat and steal from other people. So yes, they can be considered the good guys. At some point, they encounter a little boy and later on a ninety year old man. In both cases the kid asks his dad to help him. This shows his compassion towards others. The dad is only thinking about what would help them survive. But the son still has an innocent heart. In looking to help others, the kid shows great human values. There was another moment where the son cleverly asked his dad about their long term plans. The man was surprised at this question. All these three aspects contribute to hope. The kid is a source of hope for the father since he is doing everything for him. It also gives hope to the world in which they are in. Even in this apocalyptic age, there is someone who cares to be good and help others.

Throughout the novel there is a sense of mystery and suspense. You never know when something bad is about to happen. Eventually, the bad guys arrive. «They came shuffling through the ash casting their hooded heads from side to side. Some of them were wearing canister masks. One in a biohazard suit. Stained and filthy. Slouching along with clubs in their hands, lengths of pipe»[11]. With this danger at hand, we see the father step up and point the gun to one who comes and grabs the child. He protects him from the foe and enables them to carry on. This is one of many situations in which their lives will be in danger. However, they are not discouraged. We can see that their hope is strengthened from the love that they have for one another. The aspect of vigilance is also a recurring theme. They must always be on the lookout since the bad guys could show up at any time.

The father and the son go through darkness together: «The boy was holding on to his hand. We just have to keep going, the man said. Come on. I can’t see. I know. We’ll just take it one step at a time»[12]. The journey is not only arduous as they usually trek daily until night. True character comes out in times of uncertainty. As portrayed in this episode, it will be wise advice to simply take one step at the time. The temptation will be to give up. But as it is also said by the father to the kid «you can’t give up. I won’t let you»[13]. Moments of crisis are not when to let the foot off the gas.

In their journey, they find moments of hope. Whether it is sharing the last can of potatoes or having a coke for the first time. These are moments of renewal. With the simple things in life that we take for granted. But if done intentionally, can be of great help for the journey. Other moments of contemplation and spiritual renewal are seen when the man would simply stay put looking at the kid or when they would find a nice spot to rest. These show a deeper essence in the human person that is recharged with more significant things than just food. At some point they arrive at a beach. The son is greatly exalted at this sight. And excitingly tells the father he wants to go in. Even when all seems lost, joy can come in as a surprise.

Moments of encouragement can also be seen as they find shelter and food. During one of their walks they found a barn that smelled like cows and had an orchard with apples. They

celebrated this finding and took more apples that they could carry. Similarly, later on they find a house with tons of food. First, they have a hot bath and then a great breakfast. Where the father teaches the son to put butter on the biscuit. events like this give meaning to their journey. Even if the world has fallen apart, they have each other.

One of the most important aspects of all is also seen towards the end: «You have to carry the fire. I don’t know how to. Yes you do, said the man. Is it real? The fire? Asked the son. Yes it is. Where is it? I don’t know where it is. Yes you do. It’s inside you. It was always there. I can see it»[14]. This moment is greatly felt. As the dad arrives at the end of his life, he shows how much he believes in him.

Chapter 2

Fatherhood

The role of a father can be summarized in three major actions: to provide, protect, and lead. These are the needs of every child. They are deeply rooted in our heart. With them, we can properly assess ourselves and take the steps needed to mature according to our age. Without them, we are deeply wounded. Almost as if something was taken away from us. Most of the time, we are not really sure what it is and where it comes from. However, it deeply affects all aspects of our life. It affects us in our own perception, what we strive for, and how we deal with others. For this reason, I hope that this analysis on fatherhood can be of help to discover what we missed but most importantly, what we are called to receive and give to others.

The first and most basic need is that of safety. Those of safety, shelter, and food would be in there. This makes protection a primary role in a caretaker. The father, being the man of the house, has the role of fending off the evil that can harm anyone under his care. The second one is to provide. To provide might seem at first glance as something merely human. Such as providing those basic needs mentioned above but also means to grow such as education, extracurricular activities, and others. On the other hand, there is a very spiritual aspect to it. This includes all the affective sides of the child. A person not only has the need to be protected and provided for, but also taken care of. The time that father and son spend together is indispensable for his development. All needs can be taken care of but if the son does not experience the love of his father, it can be in vain. After all, we are made for love and to be loved. This takes us to our third aspect of fatherhood which is to lead. A son needs to be taught how to be a man by his father. It might sound obvious, but a lot of times it is disregarded. Without a role model to follow, the son is left on his own to figure things out. And more often than not, he will learn from places that are not good influences for him.

Whatever you don’t teach your child, he will learn from other influences. That is just how it is. This shows the importance of an attentive, personalized, and above all active leadership in part of the father. In the end, the three aspects are all related to each other and intertwine in different ways. But each holds a special place in the heart of every child and is hoped to be satisfied.

Fatherhood in The Road

I decided to write about fatherhood in The Road before fatherhood in the Odyssey since it is a predominant theme in the novel. What stands out from the beginning is the closeness between father and son. It says «He watched the boy and he looked out through the trees toward the road. This was not a safe place. They could be seen from the road now it was day. The boy turned in the blankets. Then he opened his eyes. Hi, Papa, he said. I’m right here. I know»[15]. This shows that not only the father is protective, but also that the son trusts him. The son knows that his father is with him. This is a security that allows him to live as a son. The importance of this is invaluable, as seen in “Fathered by God” by John Eldrige[16], the first stage is boyhood. Where the kid must be able to know himself as the beloved of his father. As creatures that are made for love, it is crucial for us to receive this affirmation which is not a given. This affirmation confirms us in our identity and allows us to have a strong foundation to face life with confidence. Another characteristic of their ongoing dialogues is their simplicity. Is not about what they talk but rather the fact that they constantly do. An important aspect of communion is communication. This communication does not have to be about elaborated topics. In fact, the closer you are to someone the less you worry about the words and focus more on just spending time together. For example, at some point the father told him: «Let’s just sit, he said. We won’t even talk. Okay»[17].

Another specific aspect of their relationship is tenderness. We know that the kid is very young, from his way of acting. But we see that as a consequence of their connection, the father speaks lovingly to him. We will see gestures like kissing in the forehead, holding tight,

and spending quality time together. This tenderness is also reflected in the way that they talk to each other. For instance:

I’m going to blow out the lamp. Is that okay? Yes. That’s okay. And then later in the darkness: Can I ask you something? Yes. Of course you can. What would you do if I died? If you died I would want to die too. So you could be with me? Yes. So I could be with you. Okay.[18]

It ends with the frequently used “Okay.” It shows that they speak about many things, regardless of the topic, even if it is mundane it is important for a kid to feel like he can ask questions to his father. Another aspect of this quote is to recognize that the father is willing to die for his son. We will see this in other instances where he will say that he would kill if anyone touches his son. Sacrificial love is a recurring theme in the book. The father gives his all to protect and provide for the kid on a daily basis.

The father’s show of tenderness to his son does not make him of soft character but rather it shows manly love. He balances this out with his example of resilience. He makes the way for them to continue. In the prodigal son by Rembrandt, we see that the hands of the father rest on his son as he lays his head in a resting manner on him. The son is in need of consolation from all the troubles he has been through and arriving home, he gets it. The father’s hands are different. One seems more robust than the other, this signifies his manliness. A manliness that knows how to discipline and when to do it. A manliness that is able to teach his son to be of strong character, and to toughen up against the evils in the world. On the other hand, we see a soft, gentle, and longer hand. Symbolizing that maternal embrace. With this, the father is not only strict but also tender when the time calls for it.

These are two sides of the love of a father. And both are seen in the novel.

As they go on, we will see that the father also teaches the son. He gives him responsibilities in certain crucial moments. This is important for his maturing process as he enters into the stage of the warrior. The stage of the warrior according to John Eldrige is characterized by facing adversity in a way that requires fighting[19]. Is something that we must all go through, especially as men in a path towards masculinity. The best example of this will be towards the end of the book. When the dad dies and tells him to carry on “as they had done” meaning that he had learned what he needed in order to be independent. This is crucial as it shows the success of the father in leading the son into a man. Now he must govern himself and others in the future. It is an important part of life to become a leader. The king is the related stage to this. That dad naturally plays the role of the king. In taking the important decisions and leading the way. These moments of decision might imply doing something hard. In one instance the father told the kid that they had to leave the comfortable house in which they were in. He prudently made this choice. They left even though the kid wanted to stay. A leader has to be firm in his speech. Regardless of what others might think or say, he must look out for the good of the whole.

In his maturing process, the son must learn to love something more than himself so that he can push past his own limits. Following the analogy of the book, it is a matter of survival. One possibly overlooked moment of the book is when they arrive at a house that has food and drinks. It says that father had some whiskey and was dizzy before he even sipped it. This could have been a moment of temptation. The temptation to escape the horrors of an apocalyptic reality through alcohol. Even if it was just for a couple of hours. But no. The dad focuses on the good that he has in life, his son. He decides to not drown himself with self pity and continues to have dinner. It shows a bigger love. This is the type of love that keeps a person alive.

Finally, what makes the book emotional is that they do everything together. The story is about them two. How they struggle but also how they rejoice. How they fight but also how they rest. How they cry but also how they laugh. This encapsulates the whole of a father-son relationship, the love they have for one another. This is what makes the moments of death so suspenseful. At one point the kid almost dies. We see how the father holds him and suffers for the well being of his kid. Eventually he recovers. But only to say goodbye later on as his dad takes his last breath. This shows that a dad can compensate for his flaws by simply paying loving attention to his son. Time together is the best gift you can give to a kid.

Fatherhood in the Odyssey

From the beginning of the book, Telemachus is suffering the absence of his father. Many years have passed since he left for war and he is presumed to be dead. The suitors gather in her house to win her as a wife. Athena mentions the need of Odysseus in his house while the suitors look to marry Penelope and have banquets of food. The absence of a father in his household is greatly felt. Not only because his estate is in danger, but also the personal need that they have of him. Penelope is in great sorrow and loneliness. «Then my heart was torn and I began to weep, lying on the sand, and my spirit no longer desired to live or see the light of the sun»[20]. On the other hand, Telemachus has grown up without a father figure. This forces him to grow up quicker than he should. “Many sorrows, indeed, are in the house of the son of an absent father, who has no other people to protect him, as is now the case with Telemachus»[21].

A long expected moment in the book is the embrace between Odysseus and Telemachus:

Once he’d said this, he sat down, and Telemachus embraced his noble father, cried out, and shed tears. A desire to lament arose in both of them—they both wailed aloud, as insistently as birds, like two sea eagles or hawks with curving talons whose young chicks have been carried off by country folk before being fully fledged. That’s how those two men let tears of sorrow fall from underneath their eyes. And now light from the sun would have gone down on them, as they wept, if Telemachus had not spoken.[22]

Father and son finally reunited. This is a moment that Telemachus was longing to have. This is what makes it so great. After twenty years, Odysseus is able to hold his son and tell him how much he loves him. He fought, he struggled, he sacrificed. And all of that only makes it more meaningful.

Towards the end of the book there is an epic final battle. Odysseus takes on all of the suitors with the help of his son. At this point we can say that Telemachus is in a good position to follow in the footsteps of his father. We have seen him taking command of his circumstances by going to the sea in search of his father and safely coming back. He has waited a long time to confront in battle all of these suitors that have abused their hospitality. Odysseus reveals himself and calls on them to fight: «Though you should give me all that you have in the world both now and all that you shall ever have, I will not stay my hand till I have paid all of you in full. You must fight, or fly for your lives; and fly, not a man of you shall»[23]. As we have mentioned before, all good things will require sacrifice. For Odysseus to be able to enjoy his family he must fight one more time. Fighting requires courage. Evil is always threatening their household. If they don’t face it head on, the suitors might as well get everything they can. We Odysseus as a father, who seeks to lead, protect, and provide for his loved ones. «The survival of Odysseus and his triumph over the suitors are the reward of arete virtue»[24]. As Lloyd Jones states, virtue is what defines the character of Odysseus, as a father and as a soldier.

Conclusion

Both of these novels are about a homecoming story. As Odysseus travels back home and the father and the son journey towards the south. In both cases their destination is a better place for them and their loved ones. This is a good definition for home. While hope is a prominent topic in the Odyssey, the road is full of lessons about fatherhood. Many virtues have been learned from the courage of both protagonists. Mainly that hope can be seen as the desire for a better future in which we believe in. And that a father must be able to protect, provide and lead his son into a man. Going through the stages of boyhood, warrior, and king.

In a society like ours, we see a lack of fatherhood and of hope. Literature like this can teach us where to begin working to grow in these virtues. In life we will struggle. Regardless of our walk in life, we will find hardship and obstacles in our journey towards our desired goal. We must learn to have hope even in the face of adversity. As the late Pope Francis taught us in “Spes non Confundit” : «This interplay of hope and patience makes us see clearly that the Christian life is a journey calling for moments of greater intensity to encourage and sustain hope as the constant companion that guides our steps towards the goal of our encounter with the Lord Jesus»[25]. In the end, as the parable of the prodigal son teaches us, we are all also on a journey back home. Let’s ask for: «Patience, one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit, sustains our hope and strengthens it as a virtue and a way of life. May we learn to pray frequently for the grace of patience, which is both the daughter of hope and at the same time its firm foundation»[26].

Bibliography

CATECHISM OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH, LIBRERIA EDITRICE VATICANA, WASHINGTON 1994

ELDREGE, Fathered by God, THOMAS NELSON, NASHVILLE 2009 POPE FRANCIS, «SPES NON CONFUNDIT», 2024, IN

https://www.vatican.va/content/francesco/en/bulls/documents/20240509_spes-non-co nfundit_bolla-giubileo2025.html (Referenced on April 7th, 2025)

HEITMAN, Taking her seriously: Penelope and the plot of Homer’s Odyssey, UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN PRESS, ANN ARBOR 2008

HOMER, The Odyssey, PENGUIN CLASSICS, NEW YORK 1996

LLOYD-JONES, The Justice of Zeus, UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA PRESS, BERKELEY 1983

MCCARTHY, The Road, VINTAGE BOOKS, NEW YORK 2006

[1] POPE FRANCIS, «Spes non Confundit», 2024, #5

[2] POPE FRANCIS, «Spes non Confundit», 2024, #1.

[3] Catechism of the Catholic Church CCC1821, second edition.

[4] HOMER, The Odyssey, Penguin Classics, New York 1996, ch 15, v 525

[5] Ibid ch 12, v 205

[6] Ibid ch 12, v 208-213

[7] R. HEITMAN, Taking her seriously: Penelope and the plot of Homer’s Odyssey, University of Michigan press, Ann Arbor 2008, 105. 6 Ibid ch 12, v 208-213

[8] HOMER, The Odyssey, ch 10, v 491-496

[9] Ibid ch 11,v 181-183

[10] Ibid ch 12, 51-57

[11] C. MCCARTHY, The Road, Vintage Books, New York, 2006, 60

[12] Ibid 233

[13] Ibid 200

[14] Ibid 278

[15] Ibid 5

[16] J. ELDREGE, Fathered by God, Thomas Nelson, Nashville 2009

[17] C. MCCARTHY, The Road, 150

[18] Ibid 10

[19] J. ELDREGE, Fathered by God, Thomas Nelson, Nashville 2009, 87.